Gave a try to a new app today called Bento from FileMaker. It's like a mini database done well. My only complaint so far is that I can't email the information off or sync it unless I buy I Mac! Oops

Loving the iPad more and more thou. Internet made easy and very consumer able

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How so incredibly sad that it will take an ecological disaster of huge proportions to wake up the social consiousness of the right wing american public.

They have all been for drill baby drill, less government, lower taxes etc etc.

Now that the coast line of the lower southern states is in imminent danger its call out the national guard, or any government agency to come and help them.  Bobby Jindal must be in a complete meltdown now!  Suddenly he needs federal government help!

So Sarah, how you going to spin this one.  Guess the lamestream media are over reporting it all, no birds or wildlife died?  Its all a big hoax?  

oh, I have it now, big incredible democratic plot to undermine your drill baby drill thing. 

so so sad

One of the things I’ve become very much aware of is what have I actually done with my life.  I spent my first 29 years in NZ growing up, being educated and then working. I always thought I wanted to travel but certain debts didn’t really make that possible, but I listed to the stories of friends who had travelled and knew what I wanted to do.  Long story short things worked out and the funds were there for me to go and travel.

Many hardships, bad experiences, amazing times, following by stunning times, followed by some once in a life time experiences I have done what I thought I would do and can probably now swap well good stories with my old friends back in NZ.  My life over the last 11 years has been filled with many wonderful and amazing experiences.  I’ve seen and done things than many would just think way off.

I’ve seen the sunrise on Mount Sinai, trekked with the Thai hill tribes, swam in the dead sea, celebrated the Thai water festival, walked over hot coal barefoot, watched spitfires over leeds castle and seen more of life on the earth than I ever thought possilbe.  I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, and been inspired so many times.  I’m also now a two time cancer survivor and see all that has been and just hope I’ll get to see more.

This round of cancer has also given me even more insight.  I lost a few friends with the last cancer and it seems I’m lost a few more thins time.  But you know what at the end of day , those friends who stick around for it are really the ones I love to bits.

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Well, my last visit to the hospital didn’t go quite as I was expecting.  It was supposed to be a ‘your making great healing and we don’t want to see you for another 2 or 3 months.

That did happen with my plastic surgery team who told me to keep wearing the dressing for the next two months and we will see you next month, but you also need to go back to the dermo team for the full results. We can also tell you that you have Spindle Cell Carcinoma.  Great, I’m out of here!

Not quite.  The dermo team what to run more tests!  As its Spindle Cell Carcinoma which is a tad more aggressive that its main relative squamous carcinoma they want to run another set of tests to make sure it has not spread.  So back for another contract CT scan and another wait until the results come in.  So guess what its the cancer waiting game.  I’m used to it now and spend nearly all of my time doing things that don’t let me think about it to much.  I’ve gotten fairly good at that.

Results should hopefully be all clear and come back in 2 months for a check up.  I’m just a little hesitant as all the way through this I’ve been told it can’t possible be cancer, or its such a small chance it will be cancer, and um it didn’t work out htat way.

I’ll now tell you exactly what did happen as I could say before since it freaked me out to much.  They removed 2cm of my upper lip and then did a load of re constructive surgery to replace the area taken.  I couldn’t look in a mirror to see it as I was so scared it would be bad.  Effectively they cut all the way around my nose and underneath it to move the available tissue into place.  I didn’t even realise myself how much they took until I found all the stiching inside my mouth.  The really did take all of it.  But they have done a truely stunning job of reconstruction and visually its look just like me!  There is still a scar on my upper lip and right now the area is numb as hell, but it looks great!

I was so amazed when I finally looked at it myself a number of day after all the swelling had gone down and now it just a little scar line from my lip to right nostrel,  It almost adds a little mystery to things.  The scar will decrease alot and as for the rest of what they did its all hidden.

So now its just the next step, do I sign off with a stage two cancer or does it upgrade.  As a now two time cancer patient its still all a waiting game.

Today I was searching for something an came across Michelle Malkin site again.  I’ve read her stuff a few times and always left wondering how its possible for someone to actually make money out of the vitriol and also how someone can actually belief there own words.

So anyway I have a fairly open mind so thought I’d have a quick read of her latest work.  Naturally she had to find something wrong with the jobs bill.

Her opening sentence is that even the Associated Press say the new bill won’t create many jobs.  This really got be interested so I followed the link.  Now interestingly the link didn’t go direct to the Associated Press article which is here.

Instead her blog points to this article at the Heritage Foundary, here. (I’ll also be very fair here that the Heritage Foundary does include a reference to the Associated press.

Now very interested I read the actual Associated Press article, and recommend anyone who follows Ms Malkin to read it, as it makes for some interesting observations on fact twisting and dodging, and plain old lying.

The Associated press says the the bill won’t create many jobs because alot of the bill is actually TAX CUTS.  Now what is so very very fascinating is that republicans and conservatives have been saying that job creation will only come from tax cuts.    It would seems Michelle Malkin was very obtuse about the actual real article as it actually completely contradicts what she wants to say.

Small problem thou, some of us actually do read the references!  This is very sloppy blogging, so I think I’ll wait another six months and check back to see if there is any change in factual nature of her writing.  I’m not putting any money on it.

Well its now 11 days since the surgery and the healing process has gone really well.  They took the first set of stitches out on Monday, and the second set Wednesday.  I’d had a few sneak looks at the damage during that time, but Friday was my first day without any dressings. The team at the hospital have done an amazing job and while the upper lips feels all odd and still number its looking really good.

All you can really see is a red line below my right nostril to my lip and now that the dissolving stitches are doing there thing and dissolving thing are all moving back into the right place.  Visually its looking great and you would never know that I’ve actually had quite an extensive reconstruction done.

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Today I went back to the hospital as not happy that I’ll be undergoing some major surgery and we don’t yet have a name for the thing.  The team there was really helpful and understanding and while we got alot of stuff sorted out more bad news came forth

The reason they want to move so quickly with the surgery is that it is malignant and aggressive and now thats its been tampered with by the first surgery its highly likely to spread.  As the next available slot is in a months time there is a very strong recommendation to move quickly.

Also while not fully identified, it has been confirmed what it is not and the treatment for the remainder is all the same.  Excise to clear margin.  So we are back to that.

The pathology also went off to the National Cancer Centre across the road which was fortunately one of the places I was recommended to goto for a 2nd Opinion.  End results all come back to the same thing.

So see you soon.

Wish it was a good results envelope, but unfortunately the results on the pathology from my lump were not good.  There is clear signs of malignancy and now more surgery is required. Thats was last Wednesday and its been abit of a roller coaster ride since then.

Went through a number of tests that day after getting the bad news, blood tests, ecg, contrast CT and chest xray.

Friday was back again for consult with doctors again to cover exactly what has to be done, consult with anesthesiologist, and MRI.  The outcome of all that is that alot of my upper lip has to be cut out to get a clear margin around the cancer and then they will do re-constructive surgery to get it all back to normal.  Should heal to minimal scaring in 6 months.

They have ruled out Melanoma and Basel Cell Carcinoma which is some good news, but thats about as far as the good news went.

Hand great dinner with friends that night which helped alot.

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My blog is all over the place, it has computer stuff, and personal stuffed mixed all over the place.  My latest stuff has been really technical and good for others to see as I’m doing something very cutting edge.  But overall this blog is about me.

I’ve not really mentioned that over the last 3 months I’ve been visiting the medical establishment a little more that i would like.  I have had a lump on my lip that ended up in surgury last week to remove.  Tommorow I find out if i do the cancer thing again.  But thats tommorow.

Now is about saying a final good bye to Steve. I still haven’t really accepted he is gone.  For the last four years he has been the voice at the end of the phone I could talk to about everything.  We built upon 5 years of being local friends to four years of being remote.  Our friendship got even stronger with me leaving to take up a new life in Japan.  When I first got here he was always there at the end of phone to support me, just as he had supported me all the time I was in the UK.

I wanted to go back to say goodbye but my surgury appointmet prevented that.  I also wanted to go back to grieve, and say goodbye.  Now I’m left with the remote feeling of grief. I can’t quite get it all out of system yet.  Will see how it goes.

Steve, I miss you so much already, not hearing your voice at the end of the phone is not right.

Rest easy my friend, you did what you said you would and fought to the end.  My love always.

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Well the processor arrived from Amazon for my new Aopen GP7A-HD Nettop, so time to put it all together. A quick summary of the parts:

Aopen GP7A-HD

As you may have noticed some of this was not cheap.  I could have shaved some money off the processor, but it was quite a big improvement for the extra $50 dollars.  (100 yen is approx 1usd).

The assembly was actually a total breeze todo.  the instructions in the box are all in english.  Which strikes me as really odd given that this product was a Japan release only to start with.  Still I’m not complaining and the instructions had lost of good quality photos and clear steps to pull the unit apart and install your goodies.

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