Its two years since my friend passed away.  I never had time to say good bye or even start to tackle the grief.  That nasty old cancer thing took over.

This year I didn't go home for Christmas and with the raw hurt still being felt by Sue and her family the cracks finally opened fully.  I discovered that time doesn't actually heal, it just gives you a buffer of better / good days in between.

I also found that even with time the pain can be so deep and intense that you feel like its penetrating into your bones and will never leave.  Then just when its at its most unbearable a sense of clarity washes over you like the first rays of a summers morning.  The tears clear and its possible to go forward.

Over the last few weeks I've done the full range of emotions.  The one that surprised me the most was anger.  Reasons for that will remain private, but it was useful to get that one out into light and under the microscope.  Its gone now and 2012 is a calling.  2011 was actually a bloody great year, so I'm looking forward to 2012 and moving on.