"True Friendship"
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card – just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit ! whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want catch whatever you have.
8 . When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath….. ! I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask."because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don’t send it back to me….I don’t want to hear it!!!)

And remember….when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over

(2007 September – If only I realised at the time how this was going to be so true!  15 days later I was diagnosed with cancer and really found out about friends.)