I have come to the rather unsettling conclusion that I must have developed some type of gravity well, or have had certain molecules replaced with dark matter. Now I am a not a small sized person, however I don’t think I reached the size of a planetary body capable of generating gravity waves on an inter stellar scale either. (quiet all you people with the cheap screens.).
How did I arrive at this point. Well over the last month there has been trouble on the pavements. The girl with mobile has been written about, as well as the old ladies, however its now just about everybody. The pavements around were I live are for the most part exceedingly wide (which balances the bits which are exceedingly narrow). Given how wide there are you would expect easy navigation and plenty of room to pass. This however is not the case, what happens instead is that when approaching another pedestrian for passing I will pick a course that lets me pass with a meter clear on either the left or right. With me so far?
What will happen is that said pedestrian will then start to vear gently into this path on a collision course. Logically a change in direction is required to pass on the opposite side and its clear that the person is front has found a new tragectory. However the course correction then seems to result in the forward pedestrian gently veering from pervios heading to new heading and again imminent collision.
Okay the easist thing would be to just walk patiently behind, except I have long western legs, and a London pace. Adapting to the dawdle is like stepping through mollasses. On one occasion I had to perform 3 adjustments before I could overtake, which was getting hard as I was laughing so much. Since the people in front have no idea that I am actually goto pass some unseen force must be in action. Therefore I have to work on the gravity well/dark matter hypothosis.
I new my brain was a black hole, I just didn’t realise it was exhibiting all the features of one!